December arrives with blue skies and mild weather. We relax, enjoy, but know there has to be an end to our seasonal intermission soon, for we rarely get out of this month without a cover of snow and a spate of frigid days. The end of the semester approaches too, my last before turning in my professor’s mortarboard for a musician’s beret. Insomnia has dogged me of late, my mind turning over an onslaught of facts, questions, things to do, things soon to be done. There is no evading the uncertainty of the future, as happiness and regret mix, so I grit my teeth and walk, sleep-deprived, into the winds of change.
what is important really think
hard because obsessing about
everything is madness no doubt
kid it will drive you to the brink
of terminal confusion drink
if you must but close your eyes at
the end of the day knowing that
it’s not all up to you no sir
fix what you can then demur
and slip offstage tipping your hat
We drive north for a holiday visit with Mom. I breathe a sigh of relief, as always, when the look of recognition crosses her face as she sees me walk up. She seems happy today, if somewhat subdued, and we look at photographs and chat cheerfully. The photo album I made for her a couple of years ago– full of labeled pictures of her kids, grandkids, and 4 great-grands– is a reliably good focus for my visits, although sometimes she forgets the younger family members, and I always seem to morph from her daughter to her sister as the time wears on. Afterwards we stop for a late lunch with my brother B, and his wife S, and linger, catching up on the current status of our kids and enjoying the amiable conversation, before hitting the road home.