December 30, 2018
And we make the pilgrimage to visit Mom. Her unit is just at the end of an influenza lockdown, but luckily we can see her, and bring her some presents. She is delighted by the little boys, and by all the attention. They love the face masks that they decorate with moustaches, and that we remove in the end for a final photo. We need two cars, so I get to drive up and back with my son, and we have a chance to catch up. Afterwards we stop by to see my brother and sister-in-law. A lovely day. I am so glad we pushed ahead and collected these memories for our futures.
December 29, 2018
The year rolls to a close. But ensconced with family and friends, I am saved from nostalgia by all the things to do and make and fix and offer up to those I love. Exhausting, yes, but I will have time to contemplate later, when the excitement is over, the family is far away, and I can savor what I am now trying to keep up with. I appreciate my Mom in retrospect for all she did to ensure our holidays at home were perfect. Today is “uncle day” for the grandboys, and their dad tags along, so my daughter and I can slip out for a relaxing lunch with a couple of glasses of wine to catch up on all of her doings, uninterrupted by things needing to be done.
December 28, 2018
The family is back and forth between my house and their dad’s. Their visits are the only time I get caught in the web of post-divorce bitterness. Mostly I never think about it, in my busy life full of music. But twined with the sense of loss– the ornaments by my friend Carleigh, who died far too young, the lack of my parents, the physical distance between me and my siblings– it is an unwelcome but inevitable added dimension to the holidays. We do what we can to celebrate, while keeping the loss hidden to spare those who don’t have to feel its weight.