week 460 ~ into the impending gloom

into the impending gloom
as birds fly but do not sing
and all good saints flee the room
into the impending gloom
ghosts exit their twilight tomb
I have nothing left to bring
into the impending gloom
as birds fly but do not sing

week 456 ~ the future it would seem

the future it would seem
is not what the past wrote
for life is not a dream
the future it would seem
develops its own scheme
and we should all take note
the future it would seem
is not what the past wrote

week 362 ~ down the rabbit hole

down the rabbit hole
hints of what could be
overshoot their goal

once the future stole
my dreams shamelessly
down the rabbit hole

as sirens cajole
ships crossing the sea
overshoot their goal

disappointment’s toll
sets nobody free
down the rabbit hole

hopeless to console
thoughts spin dizzily
overshoot their goal

erasing the whole
lies crash right past me
overshoot their goal
down the rabbit hole

week 323 ~ open the box marked christmas past with care

open the box marked christmas past with care
for childhood joys and missing friends you’ll find
with memories the lost-forever kind
that lie waiting to trip you up beware
or reconcile yourself to linger there
amidst unsorted photos of the mind
and laughter packed in odd-shaped boxes lined
with longing or regret for you can’t stare
them down reliably sometimes they just
wash over whatever happiness you
have since accrued there’s no way to predict
so pause until tears pass away then trust
tomorrow to sweep you beyond conflict
toward dreams love has power to renew

week 244 ~ I the unwitting catalyst

I the unwitting catalyst
for his flight to America
never saw him again but the
fact lingers a chance meeting missed
spontaneous adventure kissed
by a smile lost was future found
far from where his heart crashed to ground
without a plan as the wind blows
life’s distance still unknown love goes
where it will waiting to astound

 

for b ~
a catalyst is an ingredient necessary to a transformation,
but not present in the final result.

week 241 ~ I’m beginning to live with future tense

I’m beginning to live with future tense
once more expanding my conjugations
to will and shall and verbs like hope the ones
I’ve been afraid to say out loud no sense
tempting the subjunctive when a sequence
of events in future perfect beckons
besieged still by emotional demons
I wobble precariously the pretense
of the conditional implying that
the ground could give way any minute and
I’ll be plummeting through the past again
insecure disillusioned railing at
imperfect while trying to stop and stand
on the crust of could-be despite was-then

week 240 ~ the time before everything that has been

the time before everything that has been
wrapped in the scent of phlox and sound of rain
on the pavement of my heart before pain
dug ruts for rivulets of tears begin
stretched out on the grass watching ants scurry
by or jumping off the shed roof into
the waiting branches of the big spruce who
could eat their ice cream cone slowest not me
but I tried back in those lost summer days
of sunshine memories melting kool-aid
popsicles when I was never afraid
when happiness blossomed so many ways
easily beautifully without regret
before the time of so much to forget

week 234 ~ for the rescue of memories

for the rescue of memories
we stand hopelessly unprepared
extracting transcendence impaired
by innocence catastrophes
that overcome our histories
a defect of the human heart
too great to overlook yet part
of our quest to repatriate
loss until we can integrate
what we’ve forgotten and restart

week 202 ~ the sign read one way but there was

the sign read one way but there was
no other way that I could see
so I continued on because
the sign read one way but there was
a hint that once divine divas
had trod this wrong road right for me
the sign read one way but there was
no other way that I could see

thanks to Matt for the inspiration

week 190 ~ it was the pain in my heart that drew me

it was the pain in my heart that drew me
to the music and Rio something stayed
in me then plucked the vulnerability
I could never share and then there I played
my way back to life saudade time will
hold lost happiness so open the door
back past the tears for joy departed still
shines brightly from what can return no more
then there I was transformed not tragically
dispossessed but found there in that city
of beauty and violence there personally
invited back to see beyond pity
the light of laughing dreams I made it through
to find once more that skies can become blue

saudade [saow-dah’-zhay] – is a Brazilian term, quite untranslatable, for one’s joy, tinged with longing and sadness, remembering happy events and people past that will not return.