Celebrating a Year

week 141 ~ we’ll save our golden eggs

with 20 comments

we’ll save our golden eggs
hands off don’t even think
about it your sneer begs
defiance on the brink

hands off don’t even think
listen now we’re angry
defiance on the brink
just short of anarchy

listen now we’re angry
though still talking today
just short of anarchy
our patience could give way

though still talking today
we won’t accept your lies
our patience could give way
we aren’t fooled by disguise

we won’t accept your lies
there can not be two ways
we aren’t fooled by disguise
distrust whoever pays

there can not be two ways
about it your sneer begs
distrust whoever pays
we’ll save our golden eggs

The first line of this pantoum was inspired by a line from “Angry Bird” written by my poet-friend Raj. You’ll find her’s here . And also by the parable of the goose who lays the golden eggs. It seems we are all being asked for so much lately from so many who deal in half-truths. A bit of caution is prudent, a bit of anger sometimes unavoidable.

Written by mairmusic

June 23, 2011 at 11:08 am

Posted in June, pantoum

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20 Responses

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  1. Ah… so very true…as they say ‘take it all with a grain of salt’ ;-)

    slpmartin

    June 23, 2011 at 12:01 pm

  2. amazing write :) I loved the depth and power in your words :)
    thank you so much for the mention

    Rajlakshmi

    June 23, 2011 at 12:29 pm

  3. The repetitive lines moving throughout, like waves, make this poem build up to a super nova finish. Blessings to you, Marilyn…

    Carol Ann Hoel

    June 23, 2011 at 7:07 pm

  4. this is awesome marilynn. expressing anger in a pantoum is quite a tough task and you did it!

    trisha

    June 24, 2011 at 12:35 pm

  5. Nicely executed Pantoum.

    dasuntoucha

    June 26, 2011 at 11:30 pm

  6. amazingly done.

    :)

    Jingle

    June 27, 2011 at 12:18 pm

  7. Great poem — I love how you work the emotions into the pantoum & let them build — I often find it hard to express emotion in pantoums — great job!

    lizbethsgarden

    June 27, 2011 at 10:23 pm

  8. True and beautiful. Seems particularly appropriate somehow as we move toward 2012 and elections and in view of the theatre that has just begun. Or, at least that’s what I thought about reading here, which might be because I just saw a political rant that fired my temper. Sigh!

    This is well done and memorable and love the incorporation of ancient fairytale. Nice!

    Jamie Dedes

    June 28, 2011 at 11:19 am

    • Thanks– I was thinking of many instances where I feel these sentiments– politics, work, divorce, revolution– any time outrage finally responds to lies.

      mairmusic

      June 30, 2011 at 10:20 pm

  9. Pantoum… nice form.. do you write many? I wrote one but had so many forms I wanted to try that as yet I never wrote another. This is very nice… esp like the parable and ref to the golden eggs. As an experiment I tried my pantoum both as rhymed and unrhymed… have you tried an unrhymed one? Quite a different feel. Though admittedly both were in strict meter.

    Nice to catch up with you and your work again.

    Kind regards

    Luke x

    Luke Prater

    June 28, 2011 at 7:15 pm

    • hi Luke– All my pantoums are written on this blog– you can access the whole bunch through the pantoum-link in the RH column. And you know I am a rhyme addict. What I like about the pantoum is how one must shift the meaning of each line for its 2nd use without being able to change the words at all.

      mairmusic

      June 30, 2011 at 9:09 pm

  10. This is wonderful, very clever and powerful message

    mindlovemisery

    July 1, 2011 at 3:08 am


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