Celebrating a Year

week 95 ~ I must begin again

with 86 comments

I must begin again
working against my fear
in spite of our bargain
there’s no way back from here

working against my fear
it feels like a nightmare
there’s no way back from here
I wonder if I care

it feels like a nightmare
I don’t know what to do
I wonder if I care
what will become of you

I don’t know what to do
to set the future free
what will become of you
if I choose honesty

to set the future free
in spite of our bargain
if I choose honesty
I must begin again

Written by mairmusic

August 11, 2010 at 10:33 pm

86 Responses

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  1. wow,
    what a divine piece…
    fear has fear of humans,
    we are in charge,
    lovely way to show one’s sentiments and fears.
    :)
    I will place your link in,
    u give me a SURPRISE here.
    :)

    xxxx

    Jingle

    August 11, 2010 at 10:52 pm

    • Thanks, Jingle– I am happy to be back!

      mairmusic

      August 11, 2010 at 11:07 pm

  2. Such a powerful poem, I loved loved loved the last stanza!!…Set the future free…this lingers with me…Happy Rally my friend, so nice to see you in!!! Hugs xx

    buttercup600

    August 11, 2010 at 11:18 pm

    • A new form for me– the pantoum! What a crazy name! It is so cool the way the form laces the next-to-last and first verses together. Thanks for reading!

      mairmusic

      August 11, 2010 at 11:20 pm

  3. I love how distraught/confused you sound in it, the difficulty of the choices within the poem are communicated very well. The emotion is powerfuul

    awallinsight

    August 11, 2010 at 11:51 pm

    • Thanks! it’s a new form for me & it was fun to make the lines interweave, especially the last stanza.

      mairmusic

      August 12, 2010 at 7:58 am

  4. Excellent repetition and rhymes. Really flows nicely.

    mstevensson

    August 12, 2010 at 12:27 am

    • Thanks for reading!

      mairmusic

      August 12, 2010 at 7:59 am

  5. The repetition and the questioning is so poignant. And honesty has to be the best policy – but that never makes it easy. Very touching post.

    Talon

    August 12, 2010 at 1:07 am

    • thanks– i was interested to see how this ancient form magnified the intensity of the lines by repetition and recombination,

      mairmusic

      August 12, 2010 at 8:01 am

  6. Chilling down my spine and yeah, fear is one big thing we have to overcome :P Thank for sharing, happy rally=D

    RiikaInfinityy

    August 12, 2010 at 2:07 am

    • Thank YOU for reading! Interesting to experiments w/ this form.

      mairmusic

      August 12, 2010 at 8:02 am

  7. oh woowwwww!!! I noticed the amazing pattern of repetition!!! GOSH !!! It was mind blowing, Marilynn!!! And how perfectly you have maintained the rhythm, meaning and feeling of the poem… STELLAR!!!
    May you face no fear ever!!! Phew! This was absolutely fantastic!!

    Kavita

    August 12, 2010 at 3:18 am

    • Thanks so much, Kavita! Cool how the repetition magnifies the meaning in this form– it’s my first one. The main challenge of poetic form, I find, is to hold onto the meaning, and the transformation necessary to poetry, and not just let the rhymes dominate.

      mairmusic

      August 12, 2010 at 8:05 am

  8. choosing honesty is usually the best quite honestly…i do like the repitition…as many times a questions continues to surface again and again…

    brian

    August 12, 2010 at 8:32 am

    • Thanks, Brian– 1st time I’ve tried this form, but the repetition seems to add intensity.

      mairmusic

      August 12, 2010 at 8:49 am

  9. This worked so well with the repetitions.

    anthonynorth

    August 12, 2010 at 10:22 am

    • thanks for reading– trying out a new form…

      mairmusic

      August 12, 2010 at 10:55 am

  10. Hi thanks for popping by to look at my Pantoum! Mine was both traditional in that no end rhymes and informal in that I chose to vary the repeat lines. Here’s one that both rhymes and keeps the repeating pattern Formal Western Pantoum. Your poem very much uses the form in the way it works best as a lament and reflection

    Me a writer?

    August 12, 2010 at 10:35 am

    • thanks! It’s a new form to me. Is it traditional not to rhyme? I couldn’t tell from the info I read. but I could tell yours was one too.

      mairmusic

      August 12, 2010 at 10:57 am

  11. An pantoum! Wonderful…perfectly polished. Love the sentiments. Thanks, Marilynn. Happy Rally!

    Jamie Dedes

    August 12, 2010 at 11:11 am

    • and to you as well!

      mairmusic

      August 12, 2010 at 11:13 am

  12. fear holds us back in many aspects in life, but always honesty to oneself is important.

    suzicate

    August 12, 2010 at 11:13 am

    • thanks for reading!– I appreciate your visit

      mairmusic

      August 12, 2010 at 11:15 am

  13. sounds like you’re standing at a crossroad in your life…?
    sometimes it’s not easy to begin again and leave things behind that gave us security for a long time – wish you all the best – and i liked how you wrote this – building it up with those repetitions..nice

    Claudia

    August 12, 2010 at 11:58 am

    • thanks! I’m enjoying how this form works, but, no– this is simply a reflection back on something that happened.

      mairmusic

      August 12, 2010 at 12:36 pm

  14. hi mair…i wonder why you wish to begin again when you have come so far….perhaps the metaphor is deeper than you wish to reveal..a great wrote that worked well with the repetition..cheers Pete

    pete marshall

    August 12, 2010 at 1:33 pm

    • You are always one to glimpse the hidden– or unconscious– meaning. Actually the pantoum form forced some of this, but it is based on a distant past event that put me where I am, happily, today. So go to the head of the class again!

      mairmusic

      August 12, 2010 at 3:30 pm

  15. great form!

    sparrowsong

    August 12, 2010 at 2:12 pm

    • new to me, and so far I’m liking it!

      mairmusic

      August 12, 2010 at 3:31 pm

  16. Very moving. And a pantoum! One of my favorite forms. I like what you did with it.

    Morganna

    August 12, 2010 at 2:13 pm

    • Thanks! Like the villanelle it obsesses, but I think in a more modern way– odd to say, because it’s a form from the 15th century!

      mairmusic

      August 12, 2010 at 3:32 pm

  17. I love your use of pantoum. Not easy to do well, & you have! – Bill

    revbillcook

    August 12, 2010 at 2:26 pm

    • Thanks– it’s a fun puzzle to work out and still keep meaning central.

      mairmusic

      August 12, 2010 at 3:33 pm

  18. So good! I really like how you circled the poem around using the repetitions.

    pattiken

    August 12, 2010 at 3:20 pm

    • Thanks– it was fun to figure out!

      mairmusic

      August 12, 2010 at 3:33 pm

  19. it’s really hard to be repetitive without sounding cliche or overbearing but i actually enjoyed it, it thought you had really good balance =]

    luisydomonique

    August 12, 2010 at 4:07 pm

    • Ah, thanks! I appreciate you reading!

      mairmusic

      August 12, 2010 at 4:21 pm

  20. Your poems always stir something deeply within my soul, a feeling, a fear remembered, a soulful place of how fragile our emotional world is.

    Truly communicates the sensitive heart of the poets soul.

    Joanny

    joanny

    August 12, 2010 at 5:06 pm

    • Thanks so much– I appreciate your comments!

      mairmusic

      August 12, 2010 at 5:08 pm

  21. Deep and poignant. Well done!

    tasithoughts

    August 12, 2010 at 6:34 pm

    • Thanks for visiting!

      mairmusic

      August 12, 2010 at 6:51 pm

  22. Your poem mirrors the carousel of thoughts before a big decision, the fear, the repetition, the inner knowing and the regrets – I am no scholar of poetry, but I can relate to the mental conundrum.

    sgneist

    August 12, 2010 at 6:48 pm

    • Thanks! Yes, I thought the poetic form 9pantoum) caused this perfectly!

      mairmusic

      August 12, 2010 at 6:52 pm

  23. This was completely phenomenal. There is a show of struggle yet realization in this piece. It can definitely relate to me and feeling the need to start over new, without looking back. Wonderful.

    http://www.writersepiphany.wordpress.com

    writersepiphany

    August 12, 2010 at 7:09 pm

    • Thanks for reading, and for your comments!

      mairmusic

      August 12, 2010 at 7:50 pm

  24. Very nice – I know this feeling in the context of my own life. Thank you for sharing. :)

    Shannon Warren

    August 12, 2010 at 8:27 pm

    • & thank YOU for reading & letting me know!

      mairmusic

      August 12, 2010 at 8:38 pm

  25. going forward not looking back….we must keep going…bkm

    barbara

    August 12, 2010 at 11:14 pm

  26. The construction of your poem was so very different from anything that I have ever read before. Honesty is the best policy however harsh or revealing it may be. And with honesty comes vulnerability, both can help transform you in welcomed and unwelcoming ways. Glad to read your new beginning lead to your happiness now.

    splashofexpression

    August 13, 2010 at 12:25 am

    • it’s a pantoum– a new form for me too– thanks for reading!

      mairmusic

      August 13, 2010 at 7:32 am

  27. This on is poignant for me in it’s subject, it rings true to my heart. The form is fascinating, I must try a pantoum soon. Thanks again for a wonderful read, and a great lesson in poetry.

    tracyhsays

    August 13, 2010 at 1:35 am

    • As always, you are welcome & thanks for reading!

      mairmusic

      August 13, 2010 at 7:32 am

  28. create, sustain, destroy…and begin again…the cycle of life…beautifully put :-)

    Amrita Ghosh

    August 13, 2010 at 2:25 am

    • Yes, I guess it pertains to the bigger picture as well.

      mairmusic

      August 13, 2010 at 7:33 am

  29. A wonderful poem. The repetition is like a litany, to strengthen resolve to move forward. Very nicely written.

    h0ll0wd0ll

    August 13, 2010 at 2:59 am

  30. Such a lovely poem, I can relate to it. Thanks for putting it up.

    deadpoet88

    August 13, 2010 at 4:27 am

    • Thanks– interesting form!

      mairmusic

      August 13, 2010 at 7:36 am

  31. Sounds like you made a deal with the devil himself…i hope you find your way

    carolina

    August 13, 2010 at 8:10 am

    • close :-) but it was in the past, the new beginning was the right and necessary thing to do.

      mairmusic

      August 13, 2010 at 8:26 am

  32. honesty is essence of life. beautiful poem. start it again if you think past should go. its never too late.

    trisha

    August 13, 2010 at 10:47 am

    • and we all love a clean slate! thanks for reading!

      mairmusic

      August 13, 2010 at 11:01 am

  33. this is a really cool poem.
    I really like reading it

    Artswebshow

    August 13, 2010 at 11:37 am

  34. What a hard choice to do.. but we have to fight for ourselves, I definitely choose honesty..
    Very heartfelt and honest, i enjoy reading it :)

    Imagina

    August 13, 2010 at 12:44 pm

    • thanks so much!

      mairmusic

      August 13, 2010 at 7:10 pm

  35. Have never seen this pantoum form…very nicely done.Reminds me a it of the villainelle… love the line, I choose honesty…to me that is always best Thanks for sharing this new form with your readers. Heartspell

    heartspell

    August 13, 2010 at 10:36 pm

    • New one to me too! It was interesting to see the possibilities unfold as i repeated the lines. Thanks for reading!

      mairmusic

      August 14, 2010 at 8:21 am

  36. What a resolution! A good begining is always not far off, just round the corner always!

    Ah sorry, I forgot to introduce myself.. I am
    http://puplumages.wordpress.com/2010/07/30/goodnight-dear-people/

    Purvi

    August 14, 2010 at 8:52 am

    • Thanks for reading! I will visit your page soon.

      mairmusic

      August 14, 2010 at 10:07 am

  37. amazing job this week…

    keep it up!

    Jingle

    August 15, 2010 at 11:17 am

    • Thanks Jingle! & for the award which I wil post soon!

      mairmusic

      August 15, 2010 at 11:30 am

  38. I could hear this poem as a song the first time I read it… and it’s been a long time since I’ve seen someone write a pantoum! Very nice work!

    GJK

    August 16, 2010 at 7:18 am

    • Thanks! It’s my first. i was looking around to see if there was a form somewhere between a triolet and a villanelle in length & complexity for these first lines and stumbled across this. Very interesting how it progressed because of the repetition!

      mairmusic

      August 16, 2010 at 9:19 am

  39. fear is such a sneaky little bugger! I am always fighting is as well! Well done! and good luck!

    lynnlivelaughlove

    August 16, 2010 at 10:08 am

    • all is well, no fear :-)

      mairmusic

      August 16, 2010 at 10:14 am

  40. deep….n beautiful poem:)

    hoiden

    August 16, 2010 at 10:21 pm

    • Thanks for reading & your comments!

      mairmusic

      August 16, 2010 at 11:00 pm

  41. collecting your poem.
    thanks!

    Jingle

    August 18, 2010 at 11:13 am

    • Thanks, Jingle!

      mairmusic

      August 18, 2010 at 4:24 pm


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