week 83 ~ home lingers in my heart I sit
home lingers in my heart I sit
on the thin edge of hope and wait
but redemption doesn’t come late
or ever there’s no changing it
the puzzle pieces still don’t fit
and I’m getting uncomfortable
answering questions with lies full
of unlikely scenarios
I know too well where my life goes
when gravity’s the strongest pull
beautiful smiles,
you and your mom rock!
lovely poem!
Jingle
May 19, 2010 at 2:10 pm
hey– how did you get here before I even commented on the week 19 post? You are quick! :-)
mairmusic
May 19, 2010 at 2:23 pm
I happen to look at my dashboard in my blogger account, because I am following your blog, thus within a second you post your poem, I see it and jumped right in…if I am not there, then I may miss you…
Jingle
May 19, 2010 at 6:58 pm
cool!
mairmusic
May 19, 2010 at 7:13 pm
I can relate to the line — “I am getting uncomfortable of answering questions with lies full of unlikely scenerios” —-
very nice site bkm
signed .............bkm
May 19, 2010 at 3:29 pm
Thanks so much for reading! Looking forward to visiting your site.
mairmusic
May 19, 2010 at 4:33 pm
i felt this one, maybe because if how things have been for me lately, but i felt it & enjoyed it..thanks Pete
petemarshall1
May 19, 2010 at 3:33 pm
Thanks! I wrote it personally, but also for a friend living w/ unlikely dreams. Good luck to you in your odyssey!
mairmusic
May 19, 2010 at 4:36 pm
enjoyed this poem. Heartspell
heartspell
May 19, 2010 at 4:02 pm
thanks for reading!
mairmusic
May 19, 2010 at 4:38 pm
This had great depth. nicely done.
anthonynorth
May 19, 2010 at 5:16 pm
Thanks– I appreciate he feed-back!
mairmusic
May 19, 2010 at 6:22 pm
excellent.
Really thoughtful
Artswebshow
May 19, 2010 at 7:45 pm
I appreciate your comment!
mairmusic
May 19, 2010 at 7:46 pm
In the midst of it all, the beauty of the Poem lies at the point where you said “I know too well where my life goes.” It was a beautiful read indeed. Cheers.
Emmanuel Ibok
May 20, 2010 at 3:19 am
Thanks, Emmanuel! I’m honored by your comment.
mairmusic
May 20, 2010 at 8:05 am
this poem touches directly the heart. its sad and lovely.
trisha
May 20, 2010 at 8:26 am
Thanks for reading, Trisha! That’s exactly the feeling I was going for.
mairmusic
May 20, 2010 at 8:34 am
answering questions with lies full
of unlikely scenarios
True.
Thanks for visiting the Undead Poets Society site.
Rhyme on!
Tim Keeton
(Undead)Poet / Wizard / Teller-of-tales
Tim Keeton
May 20, 2010 at 9:37 am
nice to find y’all!
mairmusic
May 20, 2010 at 10:37 am
what a lovely poem, fluent , well rhymed and the use of words bespeaks of great talent.well done.
wordwand
May 20, 2010 at 1:23 pm
hey i am going nowhere, just taking a break from the rally. i will still be by…
superb poem. i know that feeling when the pieces dont fit…
brian
May 20, 2010 at 2:11 pm
Good news! Thanks for reading!
mairmusic
May 20, 2010 at 2:29 pm
Love the title, style, and thought-provoking quality. “the puzzle pieces still don’t fit” …favorite line. Found myself piecing together lines/images based on that one, as if around an overall incomplete picture. Thanks. Enjoyed :)
dustus
May 20, 2010 at 3:36 pm
Thanks, Adam– I always appreciate your insight!
mairmusic
May 20, 2010 at 3:55 pm
Sitting on the thin edge of hope is a delicate place to be indeed. I sit there sometimes too, an edge like a Pepperidge Farm “Milano” cookie — so darned irrestistable, but so darned fragile.
Do you know Milanos? Sooooo good. Brussels too. See them all here…
http://www.pepperidgefarm.com/productlanding.aspx?catid=715
:)
xo
Jannie Funster
May 20, 2010 at 7:38 pm
funster indeed ;-)
mairmusic
May 20, 2010 at 7:46 pm
I really enjoyed the thought behind your poem. But also, I enjoyed your musings about life and your students. Nicely done. Keep writing!
Michele Spector
May 20, 2010 at 11:03 pm
Thanks, Michele! I appreciate your feed-back.
mairmusic
May 21, 2010 at 10:34 am
Please let me know after you are done with 12 fresh poets commenting..
Jingle
May 21, 2010 at 12:41 am
I have done that and more.
mairmusic
May 21, 2010 at 10:41 am
wow! What a wonderful poem! So very strong and deep.
laurenmichelleotheim
May 21, 2010 at 2:08 am
Thanks for reading– I’m looking forward to reading you as well!
mairmusic
May 21, 2010 at 10:40 am
I was popping in to check out your villanelles (I too have a love of old forms), but was captivated by your decimas… I have yet to write one, and I think you’ve just inspired me.
This piece, strict as the rhyme-scheme is, falls nicely into place and the rhymes feel smooth and unforced. I enjoy your enjambments all, and it’s clear that you have a great passion for this form. Moreover, that you feel so at ease with it that expression of personal feelings and circumstance flow through the ten lines with joyful ease. The line I particularly liked was the shortie ‘of unlikely scenarios’, mainly because you manage the rhyme scheme and run-ons so cleverly here. If I was being pedantic I would want a little punctuation (but only a little). Lovely stuff. Now, where were those villanelles…?
I’ll be back!
Luke
http://lukepraterswordsalad.wordpress.com/
Luke Prater
May 21, 2010 at 3:30 pm
Wow– massive comment– thanks! My villanelle are:
May 8 (a spur-of-the-moment one) and week 79, 74, 70, 61, 60 (a good one), 56 and 53. I wrote only sonnets for the first year– my default setting, although the decima is emerging as a new fave as it’s a bit simpler and more direct than a sonnet. I never use punctuation (sorry) or capitalize line starts, as I like the way it makes the reader think and re-think. I write my poems as rhymed free verse. I am true-blue to whatever form I am writing, and never cheat the syllables or rhymes, but I also try never to let the form interfere with what I’m trying to say. Odd, maybe, but I like having a vessel to pour an idea into. I’ll be interested to hear what you think about the villanelle!
mairmusic
May 21, 2010 at 4:07 pm
your poems are an endless journey to happiness for me. you are such an awesome writer.
hope you soon find peace and happiness lying inside your heart and soul.
trisha
October 20, 2010 at 4:20 am
Ah, Trisha– thanks so much! You are a wonderful spirit and I am so happy you are reading back through my work.
mairmusic
October 20, 2010 at 9:07 am