week 84 ~ if fractures don’t heal
if fractures don’t heal
they ache when it rains
and lies can’t conceal
forever the real
damage that remains
if fractures don’t heal
truth can not reveal
what no one explains
and lies can’t conceal
how anger can steal
the hope that sustains
if fractures don’t heal
there is no appeal
if silence constrains
and lies can’t conceal
how can we not feel
the chaos that reigns
if fractures don’t heal
and lies can’t conceal
i busted my knees up at 16 or 17 and i stil feel them today…though this is about so much more than that…nice.
brian
May 27, 2010 at 9:08 am
Actually it was inspired by my left femur– broken in a car accident decades ago– and a spate of rainy days.
mairmusic
May 27, 2010 at 9:33 am
How gorgeous is this post? And how true. Lovely work :-)
shanellis
May 27, 2010 at 9:17 am
thanks for reading!
mairmusic
May 27, 2010 at 9:36 am
perfect rhymes,
very beautiful poem!
Jingle
May 27, 2010 at 10:51 am
thanks, Jingle!
mairmusic
May 27, 2010 at 11:47 am
I can see so many meanings behind this,
beautiful work.
cortnij
May 27, 2010 at 11:55 am
Thanks for reading– I liked how the idea of fractures could morph from physical to spiritual.
mairmusic
May 27, 2010 at 12:43 pm
Great poem! Besides the thought and emotion behind it, it flows in perfect rhythm. Sometimes there is no healing from hurts. We can only nurture ourselves and move on from them, loving ourselves despite all. I’ll definitely be back again!
Michele Spector
May 27, 2010 at 3:58 pm
thanks, Michelle! I appreciate your astute comments. I was exploring “fracture” and all its implications.
mairmusic
May 27, 2010 at 4:05 pm
I love the running through of “if fractures don’t heal” and “lies can’t conceal” so much can be read into this – and so much imaged and that is what good writing does it inspires us to wonder …..blessings.. bkm
soulintention: signed .............bkm
May 27, 2010 at 6:05 pm
Thank you for your lovely response!
mairmusic
May 27, 2010 at 6:38 pm
Thanks, Anthony!
mairmusic
May 27, 2010 at 6:39 pm
Excellent structure to this. It read so very well.
anthonynorth
May 27, 2010 at 6:23 pm
Mair,
Very neat form. I like the repetition of
if fractures don’t heal
Thanks for visiting my site. Come back again, soon.
Rhyme on!
Tim Keeton
(Undead)Poet / Wizard / Teller-of-tales
Tim Keeton
May 27, 2010 at 7:08 pm
Thanks Mr. Undead!
mairmusic
May 27, 2010 at 7:32 pm
This is an interesting piece of writing — for it has a double meaning both spiritual and physical here…. well done, bravo, “if fractures don’t heal
and lies can’t conceal”
came by jingle today,
Joanny
joanny
May 27, 2010 at 9:15 pm
Thanks– intentional. I appreciate you reading.
mairmusic
May 27, 2010 at 9:18 pm
Letting old wounds go; sometimes just not possible. I am so excited to be introduced anew to some different styles of poetry. Jingle’s rallies are a great place to read some beautiful work and this piece spoke to me. Lovely. Thanks for visiting and commenting in my world.
Katherine
May 27, 2010 at 10:56 pm
Thanks for reading and for your lovely comment.
mairmusic
May 28, 2010 at 7:23 am
reminds me of sonnets rather than measured poems. nice really :D
kyoichi
May 28, 2010 at 7:34 am
Well it’s a villanelle and has the same sort of set structure– see the description in the right column. Thanks for reading!
mairmusic
May 28, 2010 at 8:06 am
“truth can not reveal/ what no one explains”
that’s such a resonant line. lovely work!
sparrowsong
May 28, 2010 at 9:39 am
thanks so much! i’m happy that this poem seems to work on many levels for many readers.
mairmusic
May 28, 2010 at 9:53 am
This poem speaks truth to me. Thank you.
Morganna
May 28, 2010 at 12:13 pm
Thanks– i appreciate you reading!
mairmusic
May 28, 2010 at 12:26 pm
simply fantastic. loved the way you played with the words to get at the point.
trisha
May 28, 2010 at 1:41 pm
Thanks, Trisha–Thanks, Trisha! The villanelle is a fun yet obsessive form and I feel I am just beginning to get the hang of itl
mairmusic
May 28, 2010 at 1:57 pm
ah! Do fractures ever heal?! That poem triggers so many meanings, enjoyed reading it very much!
Batty
May 28, 2010 at 2:45 pm
Thanks for reading! I suppose some do, on some level, but I ponder because I think not.
mairmusic
May 28, 2010 at 2:53 pm
lovely mair!
fiveloaf
May 28, 2010 at 3:09 pm
Nice work.. and dedicated to me! Thank you! Unfortunately I’m too stressed/busy to do the rally this week, but will in the future, it was really enjoyable. I like this villanelle… but have to ask why it’s structured as it is? The rhymes/refrains are in the right place etc, but you’ve broken it up quite strangely… or is this another way of ordering the stanzas in a villanelle? I always thought it was 5 tercets followed by the final quatrain… let me try ordering that way and see if it changes how I read it:
if fractures don’t heal
they ache when it rains
and lies can’t conceal
forever the real
damage that remains
if fractures don’t heal
truth cannot reveal
what no one explains
and lies can’t conceal
how anger can steal
the hope that sustains
if fractures don’t heal
there is no appeal
if silence constrains
and lies can’t conceal
how can we not feel
the chaos that reigns
if fractures don’t heal
and lies can’t conceal
Yes, lovely work, my friend :D
Luke Prater
May 28, 2010 at 3:34 pm
I take the liberty of grouping the lines as I wish, something most 20th century writers of villanelles did. It’s in keeping w/ my idea of “blank verse sonnets” — observe the rhyme & line-length precisely, but obscure the rhyme breaks by running over line ends, and in this case stanza ends. good luck w/ your stress-stuff!
mairmusic
May 28, 2010 at 4:28 pm
I see different shades of meaning in this poem. There’s the obvious, physical meaning, and then there’s an underlying hinted at emotional intent. You have done a great job here.
Laura Lawless
May 28, 2010 at 8:18 pm
Thanks for reading! yes, I was playing with the word “fractures” and moving to a less physical interpretation each stanza.
mairmusic
May 29, 2010 at 8:06 am
Your poem reminds me that what can be considered truth may be felt as deeply as a fracture healing. Wonderful poem. Enjoy the weekend!
dustus
May 29, 2010 at 10:04 am
Thanks, Adam! i appreciate your words.
mairmusic
May 29, 2010 at 12:16 pm
This was a great read. I like the intensity of the words. More importantly, I like the professionalism in your writings.
Emmanuel Ibok
May 29, 2010 at 1:23 pm
Thank you, Lord E– i always appreciate your comments!
mairmusic
May 29, 2010 at 2:36 pm
Good poem! I enjoyed the structure and rhyme scheme of the poem!
poetryoftheasian
May 30, 2010 at 2:50 pm
thanks! I am having fun experimenting with the villanelle form.
mairmusic
May 30, 2010 at 11:31 pm
a lovely poem, fluent and nicely rhymed.well done.
wordwand
June 1, 2010 at 3:39 pm
Thanks for reading it!
mairmusic
June 1, 2010 at 3:55 pm